Family Matters: How to Truly Balance Career and Parenthood

Building a career while raising children can be challenging, but it's possible. Today, both men and women are successfully navigating this dual role. It’s important to acknowledge that perfection is not the goal, and failure is part of the process. You may need to reorganize your goals and timelines frequently, shifting and reshuffling so you can adapt and pivot as needed. What’s important to remember is that despite external expectations and judgments, that the only standards that truly matter are your own. I’ve been in your shoes, trying to balance my career while raising children and have been faced with the struggles that come with the reality of trying to juggle it all; here are a few of the things I’ve learned along the way to help you navigate your way through: 

Identify Your Priorities

Start by understanding what matters most to you in both your career and family life. What are your priorities? What does it look like for you to excel in your career or be a loving and present parent? Clarifying your values and goals will help you make decisions that align with what’s important to you, reducing mental and emotional exhaustion.

Lean on Your Support System

Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, and trusted professionals for childcare, household chores, or emotional support. Support systems are essential for your mental and emotional health and that of your children. Engage your village as you build your career.

Explore Flexible Work Options

Consider remote work, flexible hours, or job-sharing arrangements that can accommodate your parenting responsibilities while allowing you to excel in your career. The pandemic has changed the way we work, so don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.

Organize and Prioritize

Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, and time-blocking techniques to manage your schedule and prioritize tasks. This will help you make the most of your time both at work and at home.

Set BOUNDARIES

This is a must, which is why I wrote boundaries in capital letters. 

Establish clear boundaries between your work life and personal life to prevent burnout and maintain a healthy balance. This might include setting specific work hours, turning off email notifications during family time, or designating certain days as "no work" days.

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial for both your physical and mental well-being. Make time for activities that recharge you, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending quality time with loved ones, including your children. These “non-negotiables” are vital for your health and happiness.

Be Present

When you're with your children, be fully present and engaged. Quality time is just as important as quantity. Similarly, be present at work to maximize your productivity and effectiveness. Remember, you’re doing the best you can in a challenging situation. Don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t always go as planned. Give yourself grace and celebrate your accomplishments, both big and small.

Show Vulnerability

Allow your children to see the human side of you. Sharing your struggles, mistakes, and emotions helps create a sense of connection and understanding, fostering a deeper bond. By being genuine and transparent, you set an example for your children to be authentic and open about their own thoughts and feelings. I still remember how my daughters brought this to my attention when they were younger. My career required a lot of me and so did they and I worked so hard at being perfect at everything. It showed up in how I showed up for my children. I’ll never forget the day my daughter said, “Mom, I never knew you suffered through that…I thought you were just frustrated with me.” That was a cold bucket of water in my face. The truth is not allowing my daughters to see my human side made us miss opportunities for mutual connection. 

Encourage Open Communication

Openly discussing your experiences and feelings with your children promotes open communication and creates a safe space for them to share their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. Demonstrating that you’re a work in progress encourages your children to embrace growth and learning throughout their lives.

Tailor Your Approach

Recognize and meet the unique needs of each child. Listen, observe, and learn from them. Respect their autonomy and tailor your approach to each child's individual personality, interests, and developmental stage. Love and support them through their own journeys, even when they make mistakes.

Break the Cycle

Building a career while parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs. Be patient and understanding with your children as they navigate their own paths, and remember that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way. By focusing on your unique needs and your children’s individual needs, you create a supportive and nurturing environment where they can grow and thrive. This not only impacts your well-being but also provides them with a framework for balancing career and family life in the future.

Ultimately, the way you balance career and parenting is up to you. Define your own success and create a life that works for you and your family.